I finally experienced my first ‘lucid dream’, or at the very least an enhanced normal dream last night. Fully conscious of the matter and state of the dream I was able to actively participate or become the silent observer as the case may be. There was not a lot of continuity to the dream, but I will share what I can remember and what I wrote.
Before I do, for all transparency, I have experimented with working to enhance my dreams as I feel I am not someone who dreams a lot, or if I do, I do not have dream recall like some people I associate with or whose books I have read. It takes practice and exercise. Last night was the combination of being dig tired early and a nice, hot cup of Mugwort tea. The tea was unplanned, but I had some digestible Mugwort tea in my larder and as I had just posted about my Mugwort bath for my crystals, it must have been on my mind.
The dream itself was non-linear. It appeared to be shortly in the future; I was still a member of Inner Circle Sanctuary and we were gathering for a Sabbat celebration, or so it seemed. The location of the celebration almost seemed like it was on a military base or near s military reservation as we were outside of a trailer, with netting and boxes all around. But it was not a place that was set up in haste; it felt very much like a safe oasis, a place of familiarity as there were cushions and chairs to sit on, a fire pit pre-dug and carpets to lounge on.
The first odd thing was that there were no members of my current ICS family around. None of the elders or students was there. And as I sat through this point I was observing, but at the same time, the dream me felt a presence he could not see guiding him from his arm and the shadows at the same time. The dreamer me knows now that was myself, my conscience actively participating in the dream It was an amazing odd sensation to feel connected and disconnected at the same time and to be able to willingly guide and be forced to observe at the same time.
For some reason, my sons, Alex and Adam, as well as my parents had flown in. As I was at the Sabbat area, they pulled up in a car and all had a look of sadness, of tears in their eyes and they refused to look at the dream me; that was odd, so my dreaming self-addressed them and they were responding to that version of me, the active me, to which they told me they were happy to be able to visit. They were confused when I asked why they did not acknowledge the dream me and that part frightens me a bit.
Members of Inner Circle began to sit in the celebration area, members I did not know. Some looked like faces I may have seen, some came in regal costumes. One person in particular was a more recent member who is no longer active that I had met once, but do not know very well was drawn to me and was at my side most of the dream.
Then, she came in. From out of the trailer stepped Lady Morgana. My dreaming mind was blown, but the dream me was happy to see her but had expected it. I had met Lady Morgana in the real world on a handful of occasions; I have always felt a deep connection to her even though I did not know her well. From the first moment I met her, I wish I had known her longer. She was wearing a white robe, almost ivory, much fancier than my own in its construction and comfort, trimmed in silver with a headdress that reminded me of the Egyptian scarves worn by men, with black and white alternating lines.
Her face was still the face of age, as old as it was when I knew her, but somehow stronger than I remember or than it should have been. The scars of her age did not show but she exuded more power and strength than she was able to at the end. It was as if she was in the prime of her power if not age. She sat down and immediately smiled to me out of the corner of her mouth and motioned for me to step forward to her. This seemed a normal course of action to me, as if I either expected or had performed this action many times before.
The dream is a bit fuzzy here, but I remember everyone bowing and curtseying while she asked me forward. I came forward and knelt in front of her while she sat. She handed me a die. The kind you buy here in Las Vegas in the gift shops, big and red and with a name on it.
Looking past the kneeling me, she addressed the dreamer.
“Ayden”, she said, “That doesn’t seem right” and she handed the dreamer me the die with my youngest daughters name on it. I replied to her telling me that was my daughter.
“I know that, Mike” she replied in that manner she had with her accent prevailing. Now, as far as I know, she only knew me by my magical name so this was odd, and the fact that she was addressing the version of me that knew I was dreaming and not the dream me kneeling was kind of cool. I looked into her eyes and as overwhelmed with sadness and in her eyes there was comfort.
“I know what it is like to be tired”, she said, and put her hand on the dream me’s head. “But, now we run”.
I have no idea what that last part meant, but I woke right after that and could not get the dream back. Even now as I recall it, I can feel the sadness creeping back, as my eyes begin to tear up at my laptop. I am not an interpreter of dreams but there seems to be so many messages of loss in this dream and it really has affected me. I wonder now if it was a Sabbat at all, as most of the people were those that I did not know and there was such an air of sobriety instead of gaiety. With my family from Salt Lake visiting in the dream and my wife and other three kids not being there, also lends a sadness to the dream.
I am excited that this dream was my first acknowledged foray into the lucid dream world, and I was very excited to see Lady Morgana again. Perhaps my dream was just a dream; perhaps there is a message in there. Right now I do not know, but I wanted to share and get it out so I can revisit again and again. Part of being able to control your dream travels and your own mind is to remember. For me, this post is cathartic as I am able to remove the sadness the dream created by putting it on paper. I know I am not painting a picture here, very well, but I am glad you decided to share this with me.